<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Where Happiness Exists by spnsmile</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22416016">Where Happiness Exists</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/spnsmile/pseuds/spnsmile'>spnsmile</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Hey Purgatory 2.0 [5]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supernatural</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Aftermath, Castiel and Dean Winchester in Love, Castiel in the Men of Letters Bunker (Supernatural), Castiel is Loved (Supernatural), Castiel is Protective of Dean Winchester, Dean Winchester Loves Castiel, Dorks in Love, Hurt Sam Winchester, Idiots in Love, Leaving? What Leaving?, Love, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-01-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-01-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 15:41:35</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,398</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22416016</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/spnsmile/pseuds/spnsmile</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel listens to Eileen and Sam's goodbye and asks Dean questions... </p><p>Why is she going?<br/>Why is Sam not stopping her? </p><p>Dean makes a guess or two.<br/>and Cas learns not everyone stays.</p><p>At least,  not for Dean.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Castiel/Dean Winchester</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Hey Purgatory 2.0 [5]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1592020</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>122</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Where Happiness Exists</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>"They're still talking. War room."</em>
</p><p><em>Dean nods absentmindedly, expression solemn. </em> <em>"Better give them some privacy, Cas."</em></p><p><em>Castiel shifts his attention to the hunter seated adjacent to his chair.  </em> <em>A</em> <em> proximity they found solace after the frightening events of Purgatory still fresh in their memory.</em></p><p>
  <em>Dean drinks and makes a hissing sound at the bitter taste. Castiel watches his every move, before the angel lowers his eyes on the table.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"They're kissing." he whispers, frowning.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Cas." Their eyes meet and the hunter sees it coming- Castiel's on beat inquiry.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I don't understand. If they want to be together... If they can kiss with so much passion, then why is she leaving, Dean? Why isn't Sam stopping her?" slight confusion,  not harmful,  only one unable to grasp the scenario.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Dean gives his best friend one of his longest look,  and pray if Castiel cannot keep up. His angel best friend, the notorious eye-killer. Only Dean drops out quietly, pain etched on his expression,  arms folding on the table.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Maybe because things are dire.  Maybe because any moment they could lose each other.  Maybe because its times when they need each other the most that Castiel is struggling to understand.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Dean falls silent, lost for words. If there's anyone better to explain the strike of fear and the crippling feeling of doubting one's reality,  Dean thinks its him.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He's gone there.  Drowned there. Created monsters of himself.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He swipes his thumb on the tip of his glass,  before he raises his eyes to meet the squinting blues.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Because..." his voice gets an octave deeper,  "she doesn't know what to believe anymore. She doesn't know if what they have... If it's her choice or god- willed. She doesn't know if her feelings for Sam is real."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It's weird having to be the one to explain Sam's feelings but it's all a cycle.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>A poignant silence where they hear the sound of the metal door opening.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Both angel and hunter look towards the kitchen door like they can see the entrance from where they are seated. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>A beat of silence. Then sound of the metal door finally closing rings in their ears.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Doubting yourself is hard." Dean says, his eyes closing slowly. He remembers when Cas left,  "And Sam can't stop her even if he wants to.  He's giving her freewill because, Cas...  Not everyone stays just coz you ask 'em. Just coz you stop 'em. Sometimes no amount of pleading can do that, Cas."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Well,  it didn't work on Sam going to Standford. Didn't work on his father always leaving them for a hunt... Not even when his mother returned. Dean smiles weakly at the memories, the hollowness deep inside his wrenching heart.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I will."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Dean studies the angel's face for a moment, his heart fluttering a little lighter. Castiel is staring at him like they haven't had enough staring contest since they've returned.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But just the thought that they returned safely. The joy of being in each other's company again. The closeness almost too comfortable just being there. Being together is enough. Dean isn't asking for more.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Then again,  there are always his hopes.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Dean smiles a little and pours content in his glass. He dare not look at the angel, afraid whatever his mind is suggesting be put into action.  He doesn't want to haste. He just got Cas back. He doesn't want to make a mess of them anymore than he already did in the past.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Even when he knows deep inside Cas feels the same,  he's sure.  He can see the same longing in Cas' eyes, knows it's just a matter of time before they break the last wall.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But for now... For Sam's sake. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Castiel's hand suddenly grabs his right wrist. It takes him by surprise, causing his heart to race ten folds.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I will as long as you want me. I will stay." Castiel repeats, deep voice rumbling between them straight to Dean's body, into his soul. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Dean is taken aback for a moment, the meaning sinking in. Cas means to stay. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Cas wants to stay. He will. The prospect of having someone choosing him above anything else,  Dean can only stare. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Then he smiles and nods. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Okay."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>No other words to say except a confirmation.  No words to express the overwhelming joy.  Cas means to stay.  For him.  Choosing him.  Again.  Dean swallows his drink  averting his eyes so Cas doesn't see how their corners water. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Castiel pulls his wrist back. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Dean,  I won't go." Castiel insists, like Dean didn't believe him.  "So don't go away... Please,  stay..." his voice falters. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I don't go anywhere,  Cas.  I'm the one people leave behind." </em>
</p><p><em>Pain paints the angelic face.  Dean thinks it's unforgivable. He wants to tell Cas it's okay.  He's used to it. But he</em> <em>is more surprised by the notion Cas even thinks he had anywhere else to go except home.</em></p><p><em>Even an empty one. Dean heaves a sigh. </em> <em>"</em> <em>I'm always gonna be here. Waiting here. Home." </em></p><p>
  <em>Castiel sombers.  "Then this is where I will stay.  With you. Home.  Because I never doubted for a second that we are real."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Those blue eyes don't lie. </em>
</p><p><em>Dean is struck by Cas' </em> <em>sheer will wanting Dean to believe him while he gives the hunter's hand another squeeze. </em></p><p>
  <em>And it's this warm hand Dean covers with his own, the hand he nearly lost now he grips tight assuringly, full of unsaid words.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Okay, Cas... I believe you. This is real."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He intertwines their hands. He can start there. </em>
</p><p><em>His eyes must be pooling because Cas keep staring,  his lips parting to say something.  He changes his mind and ends up with</em> <em> lips splitting into a fond smile.</em></p><p>
  <em>Dean's heart swells and he beams back, feeling utterly helpless against the angel's sunshine attack. He didn't know one guy,  one angel can bring him this...  whatever this is. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Piece of happiness. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>He sighs when he tugs the back of Cas' hand's up to his lips.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>This is real. He tells himself.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He hears Cas sigh contentedly,  so he peeks at his favorite angel. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Only to see Cas eyeing their hands with strange yearning glinting in his eyes. Blue eyes that travell up to Dean's lips where it stays long and enduring. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Dean's heart skips a beat.  He is aware of the long silence between them.  Aware that what he will do will set things on fire. He did the last straw and slowly licks his lips. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Castiel meets his eyes instantly, heavy and burning. Dean's head explodes at the pull, at the hunger, at the sudden mutual knowledge that he can do it.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>That he can ask Cas exactly what he wants.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He wants Cas. Cas wants him.  He draws near.  Castiel is too close, too real.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>The angel opens his very seductive lips where Dean's mind had been playing and says, almost rasps, controlling himself. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Sam is on the way."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Dean lowers his eyes and blinks on the table. He retracts his hands and Castiel slowly takes back his own. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>But Dean can't help staring at the angel's clasps hands. He can't forget the way they synchronized, it's almost too perfect. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>He knows they shared a moment and he will be an idiot if he lets it pass. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I don't think I can sleep on my own later." he grunts,  hearing Sam's footsteps come closer. Castiel's head perk up in his direction and Dean thinks his cheeks are burning. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I can watch over you." the angel quickly says.  Dean notes on his quick breathe while he nods. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I think I can do with that. We bith had a long day.  A long rest together...  I mean my bed is big..."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Okay. I'd want that."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Just...  Just together."  He sighs with anticipation, all butterflies in his stomach suddenly fluttering. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Cas nods too and lowers his head, but Dean is quite  sure he notices the pink tinges on his cheeks. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I'd like that."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>They fell silent till Sam's form appears on the room.  Dean takes a deep breath and while regarding his brother gravely,  forgiveness given for he is beyond blaming anyone at this point, Dean can't help but think how his bed might just be what he needs to pass the night. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>A piece of his home where happiness can still exists. A piece of that elusive happiness found finally beside his angel. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>So yes,  he thinks this is real. </em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>The prayer next...!</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>